May 27 2012 · 8:00pm
April 15 2012 · 11:01pm
(Source: lookpretty-pl4ydirty, via ladypandacat)
So yesterday I made a post about Geek Chic Cosmetics and the name of one of their lip items. I had tweeted to the company and emailed them and was initially feeling very good about the rapid response time.
And then I woke up this morning to the post on their blog called “Making Everyone Happy or How To Get Tagged ‘Rape Culture’ Without Even Trying” You can read that post here.
Highlights, aside from the snarky title (hey, you DID put a rape reference in one of your product names, if that isn’t rape culture I don’t know what is.) are below:
“We have been challenged on our products truly being Vegan, what grade glitter is harmful, not having foundation tones to match all skin tones, and wanting double secret probation proof that our products are gluten-free.
We could go on. In every case, we have considered the concern and the effect, responded with great thought and care, made changes to our products if we felt it was warranted, and ALL the above cases, we never heard back. As time goes on, it seems more and more like we are spending time handling these issues professionally when the people complaining aren’t and never will be customers of ours, no matter how we change or respond.
So why bother? It’s easy: sometimes it takes a “crusader” to call something out that other people are afraid or unwilling to mention. We would be remiss in our goal to “please as many people as possible, as often as possible” if we didn’t consider that more than this one person and their friends might feel this way. In the end, we will continue to be responsive to the concerns of our community, period. All we ask is that you speak up.
Today, we got a disappointweet™ from a visitor with a blog called “renegade femcatalyst”. Her post decried the name of our lip gloss, “Tentacle Grape”, as a turn off because rape jokes aren’t funny, an assertion we support. The name of our business was tagged along with “rape culture”.
So what hits me right away is the massive amount of scare quotes - “crusader” “renegade femcatalyst” (as if it’s some Scary Feminist Name rather than you know, a fucking Mass Effect reference) and then of course, scare quotes around rape culture, as if it’s not a real thing.The post continues:
“The name of the gloss is a parody of the time-honored Japanese tradition dating back to 1814 of depicting fictional women in various stages of fictional carnal knowledge with fictional cephalopods in fictional art, and we explain that transparently on the item page. The item is over two years old, and this was the very first complaint.
Initially, it seemed ridiculous and “wet blanket”-y. We didn’t invent hentai. It’s a parody. We did extensive research and failed to find any legitimate cases of real-world tentacle rape. No schoolgirls were being victimized. It’s a play on words. Tentacle rape in hentai is to “real rape” as Bugs Bunny getting shot by Elmer Fudd is real animal cruelty. The term “… doesn’t promote an act of violence – it mainstreams a phrase that already exists in a popular adult subculture.” - via cosplaydeviants”
And now we’re getting more defensive - it’s historical, a cultural part of Japan, we didn’t invent it, etc. All of which are weak defenses at best. My complaint is apparently “ridiculous” and “wet blanket-y” even though from my conversation with them on twitter it seemed like they respected and understood my position - I guess that wasn’t true. This is just more “Those Humorless Feminists, Trying To Take Everyone’s Jokes Away :(” Damn right I’ll be a wet blanket all over your rape joke.
And the statement that boils down to “tentacle rape isn’t real rape because it’s animated” absolutely enrages me because this is what normalizes rape. This right here. Treating rape like a joke, saying it’s not real because it’s just a cartoon, just a movie, just a book. If that were the only place rape existed, that would be one thing. But it isn’t. Rape jokes tell rapists that rape is okay, that it’s funny, that everyone else does it. Rapists actually believe all men rape and things like this contribute to why they believe it. And wow, I guess if a person on cosplaydeviants says tentacle rape in hentai doesn’t promote violence, I’ll just take them at their word. That is the most out of the blue/ridiculously pointless “defense” of tentacle rape in hentai to throw out there.
They then proceed to call out a person who tweeted them angrily about the name, reminding people that they want to communicate in a professional and civil manner. I totally support that point of view and encourage it. However, I also understand the fact that when dealing with rape culture, people aren’t going to always approach it that way, because hey, this is a topic that inspires a lot of emotions, as it rightfully should.
The post then concludes with “we’re taking this to the masses for you to vote on,” something I do NOT agree with, considering that the poll has only been open for a short time and has already been overwhelmed with votes to not change the product, as well as comments declaring feminists “too sensitive” (you’re shocked, right?). The link to the poll is a picture of presumably the people that run the company, all frowning and holding a sign saying they don’t condone rape. First off, nobody even said you did, so why the sudden defensiveness, and second of all, you ARE condoning rape culture with the product name. Period. That can’t be denied, unfortunately.
In conclusion, if you’d like to vote in the poll, the link is here.
The post was then edited to add two things:“Edit: An important note: this isn’t a “majority wins” vote. After voting ends, and we’ve read all the comments, if we feel that the name of this item is causing us to lose too much business (based on our own determination) we will change it. Just because the offended may be a minority doesn’t make their opinion less valid.”
So if you feel strongly and have the time, I would encourage you to leave a comment about why this name should be changed.
Finally, like we have to say it, the assertion that we condone rape or belong to the “rape culture” is absolutely untrue. We can’t address an issue that you don’t voice. Geek Chic Cosmetics is not a faceless, nameless, corporate entity. It’s a small business run by those three very human beings above. To reiterate our open door policy, email us first, give us a day before you unleash the hounds on us. We’re here for you.”
And again, having a product name with a rape joke is exactly what rape culture is.
Please reblog and signal boost this post to get the word about the vote out. Thanks.
(via feminazgul)
So there is a cool geeky cosmetic company, Geek Chic Cosmetics. They have an amazing array of geeky makeup, ranging from Bioware games to BSG to Bioshock to Firefly to WoW and tons of other franchises. Their products are gluten-free/vegan/cruelty free and I’d really love to spend a whole lot of money there.
Except that one of their lip colors is unfortunately titled ‘Tentacle Grape’ and the name just completely turns me off. As a woman I don’t think there’s ever a call for a rape joke in any kind of product name and this is enough to stop me from buying from them.
The description for the product is:
The Geek: As any seasoned Otaku will tell you, there are certain themes in anime that are often best left undiscussed publicly. We fly in the face of that sentiment with Tentacle Grape, and declare our secret affinity for animated cephalopodic violation. Let your hentai flag fly.
I tweeted to them this afternoon about how it’s this one thing holding me back from buying their products, and they invited me to email them to discuss the name. I intend to do so, but I think it would be great if others who are bothered by this did so as well. Their front page states that “Geek Chic has and always will continue to evolve based on our customers’ feedback and suggestions” and I’d love to see them live up to that and change the name of this product.
Their email address is pwnage@geekchiccosmetics dot com
Even if you don’t email, I’d really appreciate a reblog/signal boost of this post just to increase awareness. Thanks!
(Source: feminazgul)
Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women.
We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him.
The lightbulb went off. “Oh,” I said. “I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.” The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.
“But,” I continued. “As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.”
The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked.
“So think about that the next time you hit on a girl. Maybe, like you in the taxi, she doesn’t actually want you to.”Indeed.
Exactly!
(Source: andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com, via puzzlegirlsandpoprocks)
March 29 2012 · 11:35pm
March 15 2012 · 3:43am
Amina Filali, Morocco Rape Victim, Commits Suicide After Forced Marriage To Rapist
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
RABAT, Morocco — The case of a 16-year-old girl who killed herself after she was forced to marry her rapist has spurred outrage among Morocco’s internet activists and calls for changes to the country’s laws.
An online petition, a Facebook page and countless tweets expressed horror over the suicide of Amina Filali, who swallowed rat poison on Saturday to protest her marriage to the man who raped her a year earlier.
Article 475 of the Moroccan penal code allows for the “kidnapper” of a minor to marry his victim to escape prosecution, and it has been used to justify a traditional practice of making a rapist marry his victim to preserve the honor of the woman’s family.
“Amina, 16, was triply violated, by her rapist, by tradition and by Article 475 of the Moroccan law,” tweeted activist Abadila Maaelaynine.
Abdelaziz Nouaydi, who runs the Adala Assocation for legal reform, said a judge can recommend marriage only in the case of agreement by the victim and both families.
“It is not something that happens a great deal – it is very rare,” he said, but admitted that the family of the victim sometimes agrees out of fear that she won’t be able to find a husband if it is known she was raped.
The marriage is then pushed on the victim by the families to avoid scandal, said Fouzia Assouli, president of Democratic League for Women’s Rights.
“It is unfortunately a recurring phenomenon,” she said.”We have been asking for years for the cancellation of Article 475 of the penal code which allows the rapist to escape justice.”
The victim’s father said in an interview with an online Moroccan newspaper that it was the court officials who suggested from the beginning the marriage option when they reported the rape.
“The prosecutor advised my daughter to marry, he said ‘go and make the marriage contract,’” said Lahcen Filali in an interview that appeared on goud.ma Tuesday night.
In many societies, the loss of a woman’s virginity outside of wedlock is a huge stain of honor on the family.
In many parts of the Middle East, there is a tradition whereby a rapist can escape prosecution if he marries his victim, thereby restoring her honor. There is a similar injunction in the Old Testament’s Book of Deuteronomy
Morocco updated its family code in 2004 in a landmark improvement of the situation of women, but activists say there’s still room for improvement.
In cases of rape, the burden of proof is often on the victim and if she can’t prove she was attacked, a woman risks being prosecuted for debauchery.
“In Morocco, the law protects public morality but not the individual,” said Assouli, adding that legislation outlawing all forms of violence against women, including rape within marriage, has been stuck in the government since 2006.
According to the father’s interview, the girl was accosted on the street and raped when she was 15, but it was two months before she told her parents.
He said the court pushed the marriage, even though the perpetrator initially refused. He only consented when faced with prosecution. The penalty for rape is between five and 10 years in prison, but rises to 10 to 20 in the case of a minor.
Filali said Amina complained to her mother that her husband was beating her repeatedly during the five months of marriage but that her mother counseled patience.
A Facebook page called “We are all Amina Filali” has been formed and an online petition calling for Morocco to end the practice of marrying rapists and their victims has already gathered more than 1,000 signatures.
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
- Dudes: Nice hair kinky pinky!
- Me: -ignores, continues walking-
- Dudes: Wow. She doesn't even say thank you.
- Me: -stops, turns around- It's very impolite to yell things across the street at someone.
- Dudes: fuck you bitch!
“
On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:
I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.
My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.
I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.
The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.
You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via golden-notebook)
A very good post on casual sexism and the asshole apologists who defend it.
(via stfuapologists)
(via attackedastoria)
February 16, 2012 · 10:24pm
February 16, 2012 · 1:10pm
Stewart > Fox
Seriously, THIS is how one uses humor to expose the horrors of rape culture. THIS.
ANY rape is too much rape.
(via puzzlegirlsandpoprocks)
February 11 2012 · 3:45am
I don’t get how you could answer yes to this question.
I can’t even.
NOBODY OWES YOU SEX.
Not because you bought them dinner, not because you gave them a passing grade in your class, not because you loaned them some money, not because they’re dating you, and not because you’re married.
There is NO CIRCUMSTANCE WHATSOEVER that ANYONE owes you ANY kind of sex.
So, congratulations on winning the Ignorant Person of the Day award. Masturbate to it and shut the fuck up.
